Learning to say "no"
As anyone who knows me is aware, I work very hard. I put a lot of time and effort into my job, I try to perform beyond expectations and I am proud of what I do. I may have had issues in the past with really crappy management, but not now. At this point, I have a manager who recognizes the hard work I put in and actually thinks I am doing a good job busting my butt for my company.
However, I am in the midst of a really bad customer situation, and actually have been since November or so. So, I am working a lot of hours and even most weekends, trying to get things done for all of my customers, and especially one particular customer. Well, I took this past Thursday and Friday off, as the 17th was my birthday. I repeatedly told people that I would be off Thursday and Friday. Again, and again, and again I told teammates, and crit sit managers, and my manager, and pretty much any one that would listen: "Hey, I am off Thursday and Friday, so I want all business wrapped up by Wednesday."
Wednesday evening I actually did go out with my team and have drinks for my birthday. Kind of proud of that, because, I really don't drink (though I had my 1 rum and coke) and I really don't like being social. But it was actually kinda cool. We went to one place, but it was very loud and had a resident insane old bag lady. So, we went to a pub across the street that was relatively empty. And we sat around and talked and ate crisps and birthday cake and drank assorted beverages, and watched the guys play billiards. I was really happy to see an old co-worker, JT. Though, right now, I must say that JT was absolutely, 100% right - she lambasted me on Wednesday night for agreeing to sit in on a call the next morning. She reminded me that if I caved like that, I was setting a precedent, and people would start to expect it... AND MY MANAGER WAS SITTING THERE AGREEING WITH HER. (It's important later.)
So there was a meeting is that was supposed to take place on Wednesday that was rescheduled for Thursday morning. And it was a call that was to be laden with valuable information that I absolutely need. After debating about this, right before I leave Wednesday, I finally tell the guy who scheduled it, that yes, I will dial in, and I will listen, but I am not taking any actions until Monday.
Thursday morning, I am listening to the results found, I give my feedback, so on. Crit sit manager asks me: "Can you please send a note to the customer about this..." I told him flat out that I would not because I am on vacation... He asks who is covering for me, but there isn't any one to cover for me. It's two days, and I didn't think anything is going to explode over 2 days, so I didn't ask my manager to give my cases to anyone. My manager pops up at this point and says we should assign it to the guy back in RTP. I agree and tell him to forward the info to him. Hang up, all is done. Right?
Well... No. Not long after, my manager (who was agreeing with JT 12 hours earlier) asks if I can cover the 13:00 call for him because he has to go to the doctor. (And, thus, JT is right.) At first I said I could, but the truth is, I AM ON VACATION. Ray and I had planned to go to Sutton to do some shopping and stuff. No, it wasn't anything big or urgent that we had planned, but it is 1) my vacation day and 2) my birthday. So, I told him to have someone else do it. Done. Right?
Friday, I log on to my box to check train schedules, and pidgin automatically starts and connects to gtalk (NOT TO WORK, NOT TO SAMETIME, ONLY MY PERSONAL CHAT) and I get hit with "Hey, L3 guy is being a jerk - he said this..." and she pastes in sametime chat. Ok. Granted, this person is my friend. And I do honestly care about her well-being, both mental and physical. And I don't typically mind her relieving stress and talking about work people, 'cause we both do that back and forth, it's a normal thing with us. But Friday I wanted to relax - Ray and I were going to the Boat Show at the ExCel center. We were trying to get out of the house. If she hadn't said anything at all, I could have just not cared what happened until Monday AM. But, if I know about it, then I MUST take action on it because, in the end, it's my responsibility. So, I have to log onto the laptop, connect the VPN, and look at notes and figure out what is going on. Among the things the person who was "being a jerk" said was, "Did you send the note to this customer regarding the discussion yesterday?" (This was the note I refused to send because I was on vacation.) Well, here I am thinking: 1) She wasn't the one who was supposed to do it - the guy in RTP was and 2) What do you mean no one sent the customer the note? So, I spend a good 3 hours trying to sort this crap out and it turns out that there was stuff that got dropped, the guy in RTP NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS!, she WAS given the action to do this, but hadn't. I then spent more time giving instructions on what needed to happen than it would have taken for me to do it myself.
And for the record: The guy being a jerk was correct. Maybe his tone was bad, but really, I have that problem myself. But he was absolutely correct. And by her bringing it to my attention, now I am obligated to bring it to management attention that she did something wrong. Which I don't want to do because she is my friend. But it is all blown way out of proportion because of the dislike... No, seething hatred is more like it.... It has all been blown beyond what is necessary because these two people hate one another so much. His first email was not unprofessional, despite what she said, even if his tone was harsh - it was professional. However, her response was unprofessional. Then they kept going, sniping back and forth at one another and copying management. I really do consider both of them friends - I like both people. But one of them understood that it was my day off and one did not. And I am really, really grumpy.
And the moral of this rant is:
When it's your vacation time, just tell people "no".
ANYWAY...
So, at the boat show, Ray and I started looking at real boats. We'd gone mainly for something to do, because I like being on the water, though I know nothing beyond kayaks. So, we are now considering the concept of getting something that is like a trailer/camper, but a boat, and actually sea worthy instead of just suitable for lakes. It would be wonderful to just get away and not be able to be bothered for any reason.
And I have now managed to lose so much weight that, not only are my jeans way too baggy, and I have cinched my belt all the way down, my engagement and wedding rings are loose. Woo-hoo! Ray is right - by the time I do my little sprint distance tri... Yay!
Also, I felt a deep need to mention: We saw Alien Vs Predator Requiem today. Omigod, it was awful. Could it ever have been more stereotypical? Well, I mean, it was cool that EVERYONE died. But that was really it. All the characters were shallow stereotypes. They did exactly what the formula dictated, unlike the first one. Plus, if you are going to chose a location, why Crested Butte? And if you are going to chose Crested Butte, then why not at least try to use some realistic aspect of it... If you can't do that, just make up a place.
Anyway... That's it for now. I am going to go curl up and read something.
As anyone who knows me is aware, I work very hard. I put a lot of time and effort into my job, I try to perform beyond expectations and I am proud of what I do. I may have had issues in the past with really crappy management, but not now. At this point, I have a manager who recognizes the hard work I put in and actually thinks I am doing a good job busting my butt for my company.
However, I am in the midst of a really bad customer situation, and actually have been since November or so. So, I am working a lot of hours and even most weekends, trying to get things done for all of my customers, and especially one particular customer. Well, I took this past Thursday and Friday off, as the 17th was my birthday. I repeatedly told people that I would be off Thursday and Friday. Again, and again, and again I told teammates, and crit sit managers, and my manager, and pretty much any one that would listen: "Hey, I am off Thursday and Friday, so I want all business wrapped up by Wednesday."
Wednesday evening I actually did go out with my team and have drinks for my birthday. Kind of proud of that, because, I really don't drink (though I had my 1 rum and coke) and I really don't like being social. But it was actually kinda cool. We went to one place, but it was very loud and had a resident insane old bag lady. So, we went to a pub across the street that was relatively empty. And we sat around and talked and ate crisps and birthday cake and drank assorted beverages, and watched the guys play billiards. I was really happy to see an old co-worker, JT. Though, right now, I must say that JT was absolutely, 100% right - she lambasted me on Wednesday night for agreeing to sit in on a call the next morning. She reminded me that if I caved like that, I was setting a precedent, and people would start to expect it... AND MY MANAGER WAS SITTING THERE AGREEING WITH HER. (It's important later.)
So there was a meeting is that was supposed to take place on Wednesday that was rescheduled for Thursday morning. And it was a call that was to be laden with valuable information that I absolutely need. After debating about this, right before I leave Wednesday, I finally tell the guy who scheduled it, that yes, I will dial in, and I will listen, but I am not taking any actions until Monday.
Thursday morning, I am listening to the results found, I give my feedback, so on. Crit sit manager asks me: "Can you please send a note to the customer about this..." I told him flat out that I would not because I am on vacation... He asks who is covering for me, but there isn't any one to cover for me. It's two days, and I didn't think anything is going to explode over 2 days, so I didn't ask my manager to give my cases to anyone. My manager pops up at this point and says we should assign it to the guy back in RTP. I agree and tell him to forward the info to him. Hang up, all is done. Right?
Well... No. Not long after, my manager (who was agreeing with JT 12 hours earlier) asks if I can cover the 13:00 call for him because he has to go to the doctor. (And, thus, JT is right.) At first I said I could, but the truth is, I AM ON VACATION. Ray and I had planned to go to Sutton to do some shopping and stuff. No, it wasn't anything big or urgent that we had planned, but it is 1) my vacation day and 2) my birthday. So, I told him to have someone else do it. Done. Right?
Friday, I log on to my box to check train schedules, and pidgin automatically starts and connects to gtalk (NOT TO WORK, NOT TO SAMETIME, ONLY MY PERSONAL CHAT) and I get hit with "Hey, L3 guy is being a jerk - he said this..." and she pastes in sametime chat. Ok. Granted, this person is my friend. And I do honestly care about her well-being, both mental and physical. And I don't typically mind her relieving stress and talking about work people, 'cause we both do that back and forth, it's a normal thing with us. But Friday I wanted to relax - Ray and I were going to the Boat Show at the ExCel center. We were trying to get out of the house. If she hadn't said anything at all, I could have just not cared what happened until Monday AM. But, if I know about it, then I MUST take action on it because, in the end, it's my responsibility. So, I have to log onto the laptop, connect the VPN, and look at notes and figure out what is going on. Among the things the person who was "being a jerk" said was, "Did you send the note to this customer regarding the discussion yesterday?" (This was the note I refused to send because I was on vacation.) Well, here I am thinking: 1) She wasn't the one who was supposed to do it - the guy in RTP was and 2) What do you mean no one sent the customer the note? So, I spend a good 3 hours trying to sort this crap out and it turns out that there was stuff that got dropped, the guy in RTP NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS!, she WAS given the action to do this, but hadn't. I then spent more time giving instructions on what needed to happen than it would have taken for me to do it myself.
And for the record: The guy being a jerk was correct. Maybe his tone was bad, but really, I have that problem myself. But he was absolutely correct. And by her bringing it to my attention, now I am obligated to bring it to management attention that she did something wrong. Which I don't want to do because she is my friend. But it is all blown way out of proportion because of the dislike... No, seething hatred is more like it.... It has all been blown beyond what is necessary because these two people hate one another so much. His first email was not unprofessional, despite what she said, even if his tone was harsh - it was professional. However, her response was unprofessional. Then they kept going, sniping back and forth at one another and copying management. I really do consider both of them friends - I like both people. But one of them understood that it was my day off and one did not. And I am really, really grumpy.
And the moral of this rant is:
When it's your vacation time, just tell people "no".
ANYWAY...
So, at the boat show, Ray and I started looking at real boats. We'd gone mainly for something to do, because I like being on the water, though I know nothing beyond kayaks. So, we are now considering the concept of getting something that is like a trailer/camper, but a boat, and actually sea worthy instead of just suitable for lakes. It would be wonderful to just get away and not be able to be bothered for any reason.
And I have now managed to lose so much weight that, not only are my jeans way too baggy, and I have cinched my belt all the way down, my engagement and wedding rings are loose. Woo-hoo! Ray is right - by the time I do my little sprint distance tri... Yay!
Also, I felt a deep need to mention: We saw Alien Vs Predator Requiem today. Omigod, it was awful. Could it ever have been more stereotypical? Well, I mean, it was cool that EVERYONE died. But that was really it. All the characters were shallow stereotypes. They did exactly what the formula dictated, unlike the first one. Plus, if you are going to chose a location, why Crested Butte? And if you are going to chose Crested Butte, then why not at least try to use some realistic aspect of it... If you can't do that, just make up a place.
Anyway... That's it for now. I am going to go curl up and read something.
posted by Jen Parker at 21:00
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